Death. It's Not What You May Think – God

/deTH/-noun- the action or fact of dying or being killed; the end of life[wpvideo QpwuFISr]I died.But I was still breathing.When I was sixteen years old the darkness became too much and I shared the dark cycle of abuse I had fallen victim to for three years.   Though my world started to turn around and the truth became a reality, I still felt dark inside. My innermost thoughts were completely dead.Unforgiveness will kill you even if you are still breathing.It is not just a matter of forgiving yourself or what another person has done to you.

No.

There is more.

I remember screaming at God asking, “How could you let this happen to me!? You said you loved me!”I could not process the idea that the all powerful God of the universe would let someone abuse and manipulate me.Not just one time.But for three years.It was a painful thought process for me. I could not grasp it no matter what I tried.So instead, I slipped into bitterness and hatred towards the one who loved me more than anyone. There were multiple occasions where I literally was yelling at God demanding answers.

But He was silent.

I heard nothing.

How could the God of the universe leave me like this? How could the God that promised a plan and a future for my life just turn his back on me?

Sometimes, when you are in the darkness and chaos you cannot see or hear who is right next to you.

God spoke to me clearer than I have ever heard him, “Grant, I was with you every single night. I cried with you while you were alone in the darkness. I laid over you and wept because my heart was breaking over and over again. I never left you. I never forsook you. I was right there every step. You just couldn’t see me. Grant, I will never leave you.”In that moment, my heart was broken and His love came rushing in like a typhoon.Do not let death steal the very source of love and joy from you. He was there with you during every mistake, every hurt, every failure, and every victory. He wept with you as a child, he held you close when you were alone, and he was the father you never had. He saw it all. He felt it all.

And he loves you.

Thank you for walking with me on this incredible journey towards life and not death. Do not let unforgiveness kill you while you are still alive. I cannot wait to join you all Around the Table next month for Fast and Furious! I love you all!Also, if you have not yet, check out the three previous blog posts just by clicking “Home”! Thank you again!

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